Pain in Silence
by justareader13
Summary: Hell, he should've brought Mercedes and Santana because while alone they already scare him together the devious duo, as he called them, could put the fear of god into anyone including Cooter if they wanted to. He would've brought anyone, even Artie, to seem more intimidating. Maybe then Finn wouldn't have been raped. Finncedes friendship, Hudmel family, other Finn friendships.


**My Newest One Shot. This is more focused on Finn, my first one ever, however there is prominent Finncedes friendship among other Finn friendships and mentions of Finchel, Samcedes and Klaine among others**

**I DISCLAIM EVERYTHING**

**Spoilers from season 3 of glee. This storyline is in direct correlation with "Choke" from the Beiste/Menkins/Abuse storyline**

**Warnings: Contains mentions of abuse, vivid recollections of rape and violence, does NOT paint Rachel in a good light at all**

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He was lying in bed deathly still, he was afraid, he was always afraid these days. Everywhere he looked he saw him, grabbing him, throwing him, his lips all over him, tainting him. He just wanted to help, he overheard Mercedes talking to Kurt about Coach Menkins and Beiste and he thought as quarterback it was his job to protect every one of his team members, especially Coach Beiste. She was their mentor and inspiration plus she was a girl. So what if she could probably bench press him and Puck's weight combined, someone still should've defended her honor. He should've brought Puck, he was in fight club. He should've brought Sam and Mike, their Abs aren't for nothing. Hell, he should've brought Mercedes and Santana because while alone they already scare him (though he supposes that isn't saying much) together the devious duo, as he called them, could put the fear of god into anyone including Cooter if they wanted to. He would've brought anyone, even Artie, to seem more intimidating. Maybe then Finn wouldn't have been raped.

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Finn sat at his dining room table with Burt and his mom staring at the food in front of him. He'd been doing that lately; he guessed this was some sort of post traumatic thing like he heard his parents talking about when Kurt transferred to Dalton. He didn't really interact much with anyone anymore, he spoke with his family and the gleeks but mainly Puck, Blaine and Mercedes and that was it, and he only talked to Mercedes and Blaine more than the others because they were always at the house. He didn't like to talk to Rachel because she made him feel stupid. When he told her what happened that day she told him he misunderstood the situation and that it wasn't possible that he was raped, he was too big, too strong to be raped. He was the quarterback afterall, she told him that if Jacob Ben Israel found out then word would get back to Carole, she'd then grow overprotective and barely want him to attend school and she definitely wouldn't allow him to be in Chicago away from her and seeing as how Burt had to be in Washington that weekend, Finn would be there with his mom and that would destroy their chances at Nationals and Rachel's future with NYADA.

Finn sighed as he pushed the food on his plate around, as much as he loved Rachel he hated moments like now because he really had to ask himself why he was even with her when she was so adamant that his dreams paled in comparison to hers or that he didn't have any dreams to speak of. He thought his fiancée of all people would support and comfort him but if Rachel couldn't then what was the point in telling anyone else? He didn't want it to be implied that he was so stupid he didn't know what rape was again so he just stayed silent, so silent that Rachel was still frustrated at him because he barely participated in Glee which in turn made Schue frustrated because Finn was his lead man (not that Finn wanted to be in the spotlight at this point and thought he made that very clear) and Santana and Mercedes were frustrated because they didn't come back to the New Directions just to have practices come to a grinding halt because Schue wanted Finn's approval of everything and everyone else's opinions seemed to pale in comparison. All this made Finn frustrated because he was trying to deal with what happened in his own way and with all the Glee drama all in his face and being thrust at him from all sides he couldn't.

"Hey kiddo, you alright?" Burt asks

"Yeah, I'm fine." He says in a small voice, he'd been doing that since the rape. He didn't know why, he guessed it was a subconscious thing, trying to make himself less noticeable like Menkins was around every corner, hiding in every shadow, he was the thing that went bump in the night and he was the monster under Finn's bed and Finn just wanted to be invisible so he wouldn't be hurt like that ever again. Unfortunately, his height and uncoordination worked against him, and his fumbling big feet stomping down the hallway while his head poked up above the sea of students was hard to miss.

"You sure? Because you look like you're in a whole other world."

"I'm fine." He repeats, looking up at Burt briefly to give him a ghost of a smile before returning to poking his eggs. Burt doesn't mention it to Finn but shares a glance of worry with Carole who's standing at the sink washing various pots. They noticed Finn's change in behavior instantaneously. How he was so quiet all of a sudden, didn't want to eat much when before he ate them out of house and home, he didn't laugh much if at all and barely smiled and when he did they knew it was fake, he had trouble sleeping, he was overly sensitive and on Mondays when he usually was convincing his mother to let him watch WWE on the living room flat screen he seemed content to curl up at her side staring at the lifetime movie playing on the screen unseeingly until he fell into a fitful slumber. They figured it was girl trouble at first but as time went on they knew it was something more, they just needed to find the time to address it but between meetings in Washington and Finn dealing with glee stuff or football stuff or college stuff or school work they never seemed to have the time. Burt and Carole shared another look before she switched off the pipe and turned to Finn

"Finn, sweetheart, is there anything you want to talk to us about?" she says softly, Finn freezes and looks up at them frightened

"What do you mean?"

"Just that we know you've been struggling baby, and you know whatever the matter is you can tell us, right?" Finn stares at his mother and then looks to Burt… his father, as they look at him worried. Could he tell them? Should he tell them? Just as he was about to open his mouth to say something Kurt walked in with a smile and overzealously happy greeting, 'The Blaine Effect' as he and Mercedes so teasingly dubbed it. It was completely inappropriate for the mood in the kitchen but Kurt didn't notice, he was in his impenetrable bubble of happy and no one's sad issues could faze his, they paled in comparison because to Kurt the sun shined out of Blaine Anderson's ass and the moon and stars revolved around him and it ticked Finn off because he felt like he couldn't tell Kurt. He turned back to poking the food he and his parents knew he wouldn't eat not noticing their disappointed looks.

He would have told them, he later realizes, but he didn't want Kurt to know. Kurt had been spending too much time with Rachel, he was turning a bit too much like Rachel and Finn wouldn't have another lecture about how his rape would ruin yet another person's chances at their dream school so he sat at the table and ignored Kurt rambling on about plans with Blaine to Carole and he gave short answers in a clipped tone when addressed and he ignored Burt and Carole's looks at him just like he always did.

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Finn was in the library with Mercedes, she tutors him in his English and history classes while Artie tutors him in his science and math classes, he's well aware that without them he wouldn't be graduating this year. Sugar is hanging out two tables away from them reading "Wuthering Heights", the book Mercedes and Finn were currently working on

"You know what's weird?" Finn says suddenly in that timid voice he does now that annoys Mercedes to no end because she doesn't know the cause of his about-face in behavioral wise

"What's up?"

"Somehow, wherever you are, Sugar just kind of shows up. She has an unnatural attachment to you." They turn to look at Sugar who waves enthusiastically at Mercedes; she waves back at her smiling widely

"Yeah, Sugar doesn't have many friends and she said I was her first real one who didn't care about her money. I 'cured' her of her Asperger's and I helped her out with her singing and she's improving day by day. I brought Santana and Brits into the TroubleTones so they became friends too so she kind of has a girl crush on me, you gotta a problem with that Hudson? Because last I checked Rory had a boy crush on you… and on Sam" Finn looked up amused at Mercedes' contempt towards Rory when she mentioned the Sam part, and a small, barely there smile appeared on his face as she began to ramble on about cutting Rory for flirting with her man and lying to Sugar and Artie ending up hurt again

"You know, one of these days I kind of want to see you really cut someone or take them to the carpet." He comments

"Oh really, anyone in mind?" she says jokingly, he wants to say Coach Cooter Menkins, and just thinking the name is almost enough to have him dry heaving, but instead he shakes his head

"No, but I guess as Rory's first boy crush I have to tell you not to hurt him besides we need him if we're gonna win Nationals and help _Rachel_ look good for NYADA." Mercedes doesn't comment on the way he says his fiancée's name.

It's one of the things he likes about Mercedes, she's chillax, he can kick back with her and not worry too much about anything because he knows for a fact if Menkins ever talked to Mercedes like he's not done half the things she knew about, she'd have him eating the atrociously patterned argyle carpet in the library in a hot second. He wonders if he told her right now, what she would say. She's not auditioning for NYADA so he isn't ruining her life; she's been a good friend to him lately. He had a lot of things to make up for and he started with Santana and then moved on to Mercedes and he liked the coolness of their friendship, would it be messed up if he told her what happened. Would she even care? Would she believe him? Or would she just think it was one of those Finn things.

"Finn? Finn?" she plucks his hand to get his attention, it takes everything in him not to flinch

"Huh?"

"Did hear a word I just said?" he stares back blankly, there's no point in lying to Mercedes, she'd know

"Finn, are you alright?"

"Totally, I just spaced out, you know how I am." He says with false cheer in his voice and it might've worked if the undercurrent of soulless automaton wasn't lingering in every word he said all the time nowadays. Mercedes stares at him like she can see right into his soul and it's moments like these he kinda hates Mercedes because he knows if there's one person who would find out, it'd be her and if she told the wrong person, this all could blow up in his face. He excuses himself to the bathroom before she can further penetrate her soul searching glare. He bumps shoulders with a couple of people off the football team and they all remind him painfully of what he's been hiding from everyone. When he sees Menkins down the hall with Beiste while Santana and Brittany stare at them horrified and sad, Finn can't help himself and he throws up in the middle of the hallway. Everyone reels away from him as if they just found out he had the plague. He doesn't want to look up and meet Menkins gaze, feeling it on him is sickening enough; he does his best not to heave up anymore of his lunch.

"Hey, are you okay Hudson?" he hears Beiste's voice too close to him, he looks up and Beiste and Menkins are two feet in front of him, he throws up again.

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He was sitting in the nurse's office now. They didn't know what was wrong but they had called his mom and she was on her way there. His eyes were closed as he leaned his head against the wall of the office waiting to be picked up when he felt a hand on his knee. He flew up out of his seat eyes wide with panic, his heart started beating out a drum line when he realized it was Cooter who had touched him, he almost threw up again but the lack of sustenance in his body prevented that.

"Whoa, calm down big boy, just wanted to make sure you were alright?" Finn stared at him blankly

"You know, what with the heaving your guts out in the hallway. Shannon's mighty worried about you, she thinks of you boys on the team as her family." Suddenly animosity rises up in him like a tidal wave, he's still scared but the anger outweighs the fear

"Oh really? How do you think _your wife_, the woman you're supposed to love and cherish and protect from anyone who tries to cause her pain emotionally or _physically_, would think if I let slip what you did to me?" He spits out venomously, Cooter looks shocked than confused

"I don't know what you're talking ab-"

"Don't you dare try and act like you don't know what happened, what you did to me." He said folding his arm across his chest while channeling Mercedes, Rachel and Kurt's divatude so as to not seem like how he feels inside, a boy playing at being a man

"I still have bruises and cuts and the clothes I was wearing. I have evidence, I could lock you away Menkins. If I were you, I'd be very careful. I hear jail's particularly rough for men who've hurt kids." Cooter glares at him with such force Finn has to yell at himself in his head not to back down

"I don't believe you, I know your rep. You're too dumb to have thought about keeping evidence, I wonder what would happen if I called your bluff?"

"I wonder if you'll risk it Sandusky wannabe." He spits back getting a little Santana snark and name calling in there with a Quinn-esque ice bitch glare, and never has he ever been happier that Santana, Mercedes, Quinn, Rachel and Kurt are sorta crazy in that loud non-generic way that makes it easy to intimidate people because he does feel a shiver a pleasure when Menkins recoils away from him a bit

"Finn? What's going on here, hon?" Carole asks as she looks suspiciously between the two who were much closer than Finn realized prompting him to drop the act and quickly grab his bag and scurry to his mother's side.

"Why hello. Who's this Hudson? Your cool, young aunt because there's no way that's your mother. She's way too young and pretty." Carole looks at him unimpressed before adjusting her bag on her shoulder making it a point to show her wedding band.

"Actually, I am his mother, who are you?"

"Coach Cooter Menkins" he says in a tone that implies she should know who he is, the way that she stares back at him makes it pretty clear she doesn't and is sure he isn't very important anyway.

"I'm a recruiter for OSU; I'm also Coach Beiste's husband."

"Really? Recruiter? Isn't it a little late?"

"I'm here on pleasure not business, I saw Finn's accident in the hall and I wanted to make sure he was okay." Carole doesn't miss Finn's flinch when Menkins says pleasure

"Yes, well thank you for your concern but we'll be going now."

Carole makes sure Finn is walking in front of her as she stalks out of the building. Later, when they're curled up in front of the TV, Finn lying his head on her lap, she finally convinced herself to ask Finn about it but when she looks down he's fast asleep with his mouth slightly open and the corners of his eyes scrunched up in that cute way he's been doing since he was a baby. She manages to wake him enough to drag him up the stairs and to his room.

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Finn instantly knows when he is no longer in the safety of his mother's embrace. He doesn't feel that warmth anymore, he can't pretend he's a little kid anymore, naive and innocent towards the way the world worked. He'd seen its horror enough to last him a lifetime. His dreams change, he goes from being eight years old baking cupcakes with his mother and Puck to being held down in the most secluded corner of school being painfully rammed into over and over.

**DREAMSCAPE FLASHBACK**

Finn stood at a secluded corner of the school where Cooter's car was parked feeling a little nervous but resolved to what he was about to do. He overhears Mercedes' worried voice talking to Kurt about Coach Beiste being beat by her husband. How Mercedes had seen Coach Beiste with Coach Menkins but wasn't sure if they were back together or not. Kurt was trying to tell her there was nothing she could do if Coach Beiste didn't want to help herself but Finn felt like there was something he could do. He was quarterback of this team, and they were his people it was his job to look out for them. He sees Coach Menkins walking out of the building in his direction. He breaths a deep breath and steels himself

"Finn right? Anything I can help you with?" Menkins asks politely, Finn momentarily wonders if he misheard but then again he supposes if he wanted to hurt her in private it wouldn't be a good idea to be all mean and brute in public

"Yes actually, look man, Coach Beiste means a lot to a lot of us here, we might say stuff sometimes but it's just stuff you know? We wouldn't sit back knowing she was being hurt and do anything about it." He watches Menkins face transform as he realizes what this is about

"Look I said I was sorry, it's done Hudson."

"Actually, no it's not, it won't be done until you get out of Coach Beiste's life and make it a point to stay out of it."

"Look kid, you're messing in grown up affairs, alright?" he says stepping closer to Finn threateningly, Finn doesn't notice

"Well someone who beats on their wife hardly deserves to call themself a man. I care about Coach Beiste, she's my mentor and I'm not about to sit back and let you hurt her."

"Alright kid, you asked for it." Cooter all of a sudden grabbed Finn's head and slammed it against the hood of his car. The rest of the night was a blur. Finn was beaten, dragged around, choked and raped like a rag doll. He remembered screaming until his lungs and throat were sore and he knows Rachel will be pissed about that but he doesn't stop. He's still screaming an hour later when Cooter was long gone and his screaming is inaudible to even him and just sounds like he's sucking in air. He climbs up the side of his house that night and after seven failed attempts gets into his bedroom through the window. He shakes and cries himself to sleep then wakes up two hours later and scrubs his aching body raw trying to ignore the throbbing pain in his anus.

The next day when Sam comes to wake him he finds him huddled in the darkest corner of the room with tears streaming down his face. He hugs Finn until he stops but doesn't press him for answers. Finn sort of wishes he did but at the same time is glad he had some time to himself to let it sink in.

**END OF DREAM**

He wakes up in a cold sweat knowing full well that was all the sleep he was getting, he trudged downstairs wondering briefly if Menkins would call his bluff about the clothes, because it was a bluff. He walks to the garage where Burt is working on this old '77 Citroen CX, he looks up at Finn and wordlessly hands him a monkey wrench. Finn waking up at two am and coming to help Burt out or watch TV or read a book or do whatever he does on his laptop is now a regular occurrence.

"So you know, me and your mom are really worried about you Finn. Whatever's wrong you can't keep it to yourself much longer, it's eating you up, kid. It's killing you."

Finn was inclined to agree, but he didn't say anything just kept tightening various bolts on the car.

"Look you don't have to tell us, but you need to tell someone." He doesn't really entertain the thought of telling anyone, he's too focused on something else. He can't get one specific thought out of his head though, that he was too dumb to have kept evidence, and he's also inclined to agree with that.

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Finn was sitting in the precinct with Brittany. They were sort of regulars there, sometimes Finn gets lost when he's walking home, he kind of zones out and ends up walking himself into unknown territory, and he knows that's stupid especially after what happened with Menkins

_But then again my lack of intelligence isn't a secret to anyone not even Menkins_, he thinks dejectedly. He looks down at the paper and crayons he was just enthusiastically drawing on like a Kindergartener and looks over to Brittany who is making a field with elaborate unicorns and fluffy clouds and green meadows. Then he thinks of what Burt told him

"Hey Brittany?"

"Yeah?"

"Can you keep a secret?"

"Yeah, I mean I never told anybody that it's not just me that the police pick up but you too when we get lost on our way home."

"I mean a real secret, like you can't tell anybody, not even Santana." She puts her crayons down and looks at him with rapt attention

"I pinky swear." She says holding out her pinky, which he quickly links

"Have you ever… I mean you like to have you know…" he says gesturing meaningfully

"Sex?" she says giggling at his blushing face

"Yeah, has anyone ever… taken advantage of you?" Brittany frowns at him confused

"Advantage? Isn't that a phone company?" Finn scrounges his face in confusion

"No, that's Vonage."

"Oh right, then what are you talking about?"

"I mean, has anyone ever tried to rape you?" Brittany smiles a carefree smile before picking up her crayon again

"No, why would they?" She pauses as she sees Finn shift uncomfortably out of the corner of her eye

"Why? Did… did something happen Finn because you're starting to scare me." He looks at her meaningfully

"Oh my gosh!"

"Shh, Brittany hush" both of them sat up straight, not realizing they had moved closer to each other, as an officer popped their head into the room they were in

"Everything okay in here?" Finn turned and smiled at her

"Yeah, everything's good." The woman looked at the two suspiciously before walking out the room as soon as she was gone Brittany launched into her questions

"When did this happen? Who did it? Are you okay? Did you tell anyone? Do I know the person? OMG, are you pregnant, because I'm totally hoping the stork didn't make a nest on your roof, did it?" Finn clamps his hand over her mouth effectively shutting her up before pulling it away slowly

"Okay first off, I'm a boy I can't get pregnant and didn't anyone tell you where babies come from after last year with you and Artie's pregnancy scare." Finn shakes his head as Brittany answers no,

"Anyway, it happened one month ago and you do know the person but…"

"But what?" Brittany looks deep into Finn's eyes and sees the genuine fear that lays there; she quickly grabs his hand in comfort

"Finn, you know that I can only help protect you if you tell me who it is?" Finn looks into Brittany sincere eyes with his tear filled eyes

"It was… it was Coach… Menkins." Brittany's eyes widen when he utters the name, she gets up and quickly crosses the table to hug him as he breaks down. It's only later that Finn realizes that he doesn't actually feel much better even after telling someone, it's even later that he realizes it's because even if Brittany says she'll protect him no one can, not when Menkins is still free to walk the McKinley hallway and continue abusing Beiste and instilling the fear of god in Finn, he'll never truly be safe.

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When he gets to the library the next day he sees Mercedes is chilling with Sugar at a table laughing and joking around. He decides he could stand to let them enjoy each other a little while longer and wonders over to some other books and is surprised to see Rachel standing there looking like she's waiting for someone,

"There you are." She exclaims, he turns around to make sure she isn't talking to anyone else and when he looks back at her, she seems even more exasperated

"Yes Finn, I'm talking to you, you need to stop it." He stared back at her blankly

"You really _need _to stop it."

"Stop… what?"

"Telling people that you've been raped. Making these ludacris accusations against anyone is plain wrong and not to mention I messed up my NYADA audition when I choked; Nationals have to be absolutely perfect Finn. You understand right?" she says ending her tirade with a sweet smile and batting her eyelashes, but Finn only caught one phrase

"Wait, who else do you think I told?" Rachel's smile instantly drops as she places her hands on her hips and stares at him furiously

"Brittany."

"What? She said she wouldn't tell anyone." He says angrily, he should've know better

"She didn't, not directly at least. I was at her house to get some choreography tips and I overheard her talking to that disgusting feline of hers. She said you told her she couldn't tell any_body_ not any cat. Look, I love you, I do but I cannot and will not let anything stop me from being on Broadway." Finn looks down, he should feel devastated but he's heard this all before when he first thought it was a good idea to tell Rachel

"I don't know where this behavior is coming from, perhaps you feel threatened by my impending success and feel the need to say or do anything to drag attention to yourself because I shine brighter than you do by far." Finn looked at Rachel in disbelief, when under pressure she was far more narcissistic (he silently thanked Mercedes for teaching him that word). He was pulled from his thoughts when Rachel pulled his face to stare her crazed eyes into his sad ones

"Listen, I need you to pull yourself together, for my sake… and for Kurt's. You don't want us to lose Nationals again do you? One year it's because you can't keep your teen hormones in check and the next it's because you want attention." His mouth fell open when he realized she blamed him for the kiss onstage at last year's Nationals

"Fix. This. Now. You tell Brittany you were mistaken and don't let her think more stupid things than she already does." She pushes him aside and walks briskly away from Finn's shell-shocked form. Seconds later he hears a much more friendly voice

"Finn? Are you okay?" Mercedes asks coming around to see his face with Sugar next to her

"I think he's in shock." Sugar says staring at him

"No, this, my dear child, is called the Rachel Berry affect. Come on, Frankenteen." Mercedes says walking out of the library dragging Finn along by one hand and swinging her other hand which was entwined in Sugar's who skipped down the hall next to her as they made their way to an empty classroom.

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Finn stood by the front desk in the empty classroom he was dragged in with wide eyes unable to move as he watched Mercedes storm out of the room on a warpath and he wasn't exactly sure who she was after. He looked down at Sugar, who had latched herself to his side in a comforting embrace, the size difference would be comical if not for the circumstances they were in. He just told Mercedes, well Mercedes and Sugar, about the rape. He couldn't not tell them especially when Mercedes was looking at him with those soul searching eyes that said 'I'll know if you're lying' and the words just flew out. He went on tell her of Rachel's disbelief after Sugar had run to him and practically jumped in his lap, Mercedes stormed out and as he stood Sugar didn't let go.

"Thanks for the support and all Sugar but we kinda need to stop Mercedes." He said taping his foot; she looked up at him confused

"Why? Whether she's going to kill Menkins or Rachel, I don't see a problem with that."

"Except Mercedes is a senior she can't afford to be in trouble not so close to graduation or Nationals. She could be banned from prom, nationals and the graduation ceremony."

"Oh I guess you're right, come on." Sugar grabbed his hand running out the room and down the hall as fast as her heels would allow

"How do you know she's gone this way?" Finn asked

"Because I know my girl 'Cedes and she's got her priorities in check. She'll go after that disgusting, vile, creature Menkins first then she'll go after your disgusting, vile creature." He had to agree and he didn't actually have the energy to defend Rachel or take the lead from Sugar so he let her drag him all over the school, he briefly noted that they stopped for a few seconds and then Brittany, Santana and Sam were running behind them. When they got to the hallway with the teacher's longue they could hear the commotion before they saw it. They could make out Mercedes' pissed off smack talk, Menkins ungodly howling, Beiste and Will's commanding voices trying to stop Mercedes, Emma's exclamations of horror and Sue egging on whatever violence was going on.

When they got to the door Finn couldn't believe his eyes. Menkins was spinning around the room backing into various walls, as Mercedes was latched onto his back punching him in the head, face and just about anywhere she could reach with her right hand while her left hand's fingernails were seemingly hooked into Menkins' face and dragging down, obviously she'd done it a couple times if the red, bleeding lines on his face were any indication. The room was a wreck, Menkins and Beiste's lunch was strewn across the floor and the table overturned. Menkins slipped on a piece of chicken sending the two to the floor. Mercedes was momentarily winded and Menkins took the opportunity to pick the girl up and charge into a wall clear across the room, her head hitting with a horrid smack. Santana jumped in, smacking him over the head with a nearby tray as he turned his attention to her, he pushed her on top of a nearby table but that didn't deter her as she kicked him in his groin and when he fell to his knees she sprang up and kneed him in his nose eliciting a disgusting crunch and having him holler in pain. Sam and Finn finally snapped out of it and grabbed Mercedes and Santana respectively as they noticed the former girl get back up looking to do more damage. Both girls spewed threats at the Coach, Mercedes threatening to cut him up for hurting the people she cared about, Santana threatened to cut him up for hurting Mercedes, Finn was amazed that even though Santana was dangling in his arms with her feet off the ground she still sounded menacing. The two spewed every expletive they knew at the man who was now recovered and was standing looking like he wanted to charge one of the girls and didn't know which one to hit first, the commotions went on until a loud voice boomed through the chaos

"SHUT THE HELL UP! ALL OF YOU!" Finn turned with Santana to see Sam's swim coach, Coach Roz Washington AKA Black Sue standing there glaring at the room, before settling her eyes on the two girls who had now ceased struggling and were staring back at her

"Are you two girls more cray-cray than I thought you were? Or are you just plain stupid?"

"Oh please Coach Roz don't even act like you don't know that Menkins beats Beiste and not in the kinky way. Because if we know, you know." Santana snarked at her

"That's not why I originally gave you this beat down you low life, dirty ass, rapist. I know you football guys must be rubbing elbows and I know you must have been taking hints from Sandusky but there's one thing you're forgetting Sandusky got caught." Mercedes said at Cooter, Menkins spat blood at her feet and a few flecks of it hit her yellow leather high tops sending her into a frenzy in Sam's restraining arms as he tried to whisper reassurances in her ear

"Rapist? Sandusky? What are you talking about Mercedes?" Schue said

"She's talking about how Coach Menkins raped Finn." Sugar said speaking up before Finn could stop her. He felt the whole room's eyes on him. Santana was looking up at him shocked as his arms feel limp and she fell out of them gracefully onto her feet. He felt like his throat was closing up and he couldn't breathe almost like he was underwater and under a microscope at the same time as he felt Mr. Schue, Miss Pillsbury, Coach Sylvester, Coach Washington, Coach Beiste, Menkins, Sam, Mercedes, Sugar, Brittany and Santana stare at him. The silence was deafening and it was like the calm before the storm that was about to wash Finn's life as he knew it down the drain

"F-Finn is this t-true?" Schue stuttered out looking at Finn with a cautious expression, Finn didn't answer and just stood there frozen, he was getting more shocked and feeling more emotions than he thought his body could take, he briefly wondered when he would shut down completely. When he didn't speak, Brittany did

"It's true, Finn told me so. He made me pinky promise not to tell but I guess since he told other people so it's okay now." She said staring sadly; Beiste sat down looking like she was ready to throw up, about to cry and have an aneuresum all at the same

"Wait, no. No way, no friggin way. There's no way the Jolly Finn Giant was raped. I mean, yeah he can be douchey sometimes but that's more Rachel's influence. No one would rape Finn, that would be like someone kicking Lord Tubbers in front of Brit, you just wouldn't do it." Santana said in denial

"I'm telling you San, when he told me… I have never seen that much fear in someone's eyes in my life. You abused Coach Beiste, you raped Finn and mark my words one way or another you're gonna pay for this." Mercedes said venomously

Hudson, is this true?" Beiste asked him tearfully, and between her, Brittany and Ms. P's tears, Mercedes and now Santana's uproarious cussing, Sam and Mr. Schue's frozen, horrified expressions and Menkins sneering face it all became too much and all of a sudden he was shrouded in darkness only hearing Sugar calling his name before he hit the floor and was knock out cold.

**GLEEGLEE GLEEGLEE GLEEGLEE GLEEGLEE GLEEGLEE GLEEGLEE GLEEGLEE GLEEGLEE**

_Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep_

Was all Finn could hear in his ears as he awoke and it was hella annoying. There was also something annoying in his nose and something else annoying in his arm, not to mention that his head was throbbing; all in all this is definitely in the top three crappiest ways he's ever woken up. He groaned as he reached up to tug the thing out of his nose and felt a hand restraining him. The words were garbled but he was sure the person was talking to him, it took him a while to open his eyes and for his vision and hearing to clear up enough to register that Kurt was in front of him rambling in that nervous way he does not realizing Finn had no idea what he was saying,

"Where am I?" Finn asked in a scratchy voice, figuring that he should probably prioritize before Kurt passed out due to lack of air; that triggered a flash of a memory

"I passed out, didn't I?"

"You're in the hospital. You passed out after…" Finn sat up slowly looking around the room noticing it was only he and Kurt though his mother's bag was in the corner

"After what?" Finn asked clearing his throat, he didn't like that he was clueless in this whole matter, but Kurt didn't answer instead he shoved a cup with water in his face

"Drink some water, your throat is probably sore." Finn's throat was sore so he didn't protest, but he did notice how shifty Kurt was

"So… how long have I been out, exactly?"

"…a week?" Kurt said timidly, Finn's eyes practically bulged out of his head and he exclaimed

"A week!" Which induced a coughing fit that was easily cured with some more water and few good whacks on the back.

"You okay now?"

"Yeah, it's just, I mean a week."

"You hit your head on the way down on the edge of one of the tables. Plus…" Kurt looked away as his sentence led off

"Plus?" Kurt still wouldn't meet his eyes

"Kurt, I'm lying in a hospital bed and you keep avoiding something so what's up?" When Kurt looked at Finn he actually looked a little angry

"Why didn't you tell me?" Finn looked at him confused as a million possibilities ran rampant through his minds, could Kurt mean the rape? But how would others know, Finn didn't really remember much of what happened leading to him fainting, he recalled he told Brittany and Rachel confronted him pissed off, he think Mercedes and possibly Sugar found him but he isn't sure what happened after that. Even so there are many things Kurt could mean. Finn didn't tell Kurt that the curtain missing from his room was a result of Sam and Finn cutting it up and using it as a cloth to clean dust from Finn's room. Finn didn't tell Kurt that he totally recycles Kurt's beauty products sometimes and gives them to Rachel as gifts. Kurt doesn't know a lot of things.

"I mean, I guess I can understand you telling Rachel, maybe you can get away with telling Mercedes before me but Brittany and Sugar? You told them you were sexually assaulted before you told me, your own brother." The beeping Finn woke up to all of a sudden gets faster as he feels himself starting to panic.

"Oh, Oh God Finn. I'm sorry, just stay calm. Should, should I get a nurse? Why am I asking? I'm gonna get one." Kurt said in a frantic panic, he got up to get her but stopped when Finn grabbed his arm. Finn held up his finger and started taking deep breaths to calm himself down: one breath in, two out. The beeping gradually went back to the way it was

"I'm good now, Kurt."

"How did you know to do that?" Kurt asked sitting on the side of the hospital bed;

"I've had panic attacks before, Sam walked in on one and he taught me how to breathe through it, said he had more than his fair share while living in the motel room, and that he had one practically every night before he went on stage as White Chocolate."

"You told Sam too before me?" Kurt asked

"No, I never told him but he's been helping me out a lot even though he had no idea what was wrong with me. He sleeps in the same room as me sometimes to make sure you guys don't hear me scream in my sleep. He makes sure I eat, he helps me with the panic attacks and he never asked questions about it. It was just what I needed at the time I guess, someone to support me without giving me the third degree. I love you guys, you and my mom and Burt too, but I just needed to handle this my own way so I didn't tell you guys. The only person I told was Rachel and well she—",

"Yeah, Mercedes told me about that. She came by. Carole ran her off."

"It's for the best I guess."

"Finn, can you tell me what happened?"

"Not right now. I hope you don't take this the wrong way or I do, I don't know but even if I wanted to tell you where would you get the time. You're always with Blaine or Rachel which is weird because Rachel's my girlfriend or was my girlfriend and you spent more time with her. You were too happy, happier than I'd seen you in forever and I didn't want to ruin that so I didn't say anything."

"Finn."

"Maybe I'll tell you one day, just not right now, okay?"

"Okay, can I lie down?"

"Sure." Finn said scooting over, Kurt laid down beside him curling up in Finn's side

"I'm sorry I haven't been there for you Finn. I love you little brother."

"Hey dude only by like 4 months, and I love you too bro."

Finn fell asleep more soundly that night than he had in a long time. He wouldn't be able to fully tell his family and friends what he'd been through yet, he probably never would. But they knew now and things from now could only get better for him.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^n ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^g %%%%%%%%%%%%%%

**This is just a random ditty I had floating in my head, I hope you liked it.**


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